Teenage Dirtbag
by Gunpowder Cookies
Summary: "All love is unconditional. And, in Natsu's case, unrequited." - AU, Edo NaLu. Based off the song 'Teenage Dirtbag' by Wheatus. Rated T for strong language.


**AN: We did a dance/performance competition at my school based on rock songs, and my group did a mash up of Highway to Hell, School of Rock and Teenage Dirtbag. Since then I've had the song stuck in my head. I was looking for suitable couples… and ended up with this. Well, I've been meaning to write Edo NaLu for a while now. I have nothing against Hibiki, but he was a good candidate for Lucy's boyfriend- besides, Edo Hibiki would probably be a douchebag.**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Fairy Tail, the band Wheatus, the song Teenage Dirtbag or the band Iron Maiden.**_

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><p>Natsu Dragion trudged down the squeaky clean halls of Edolas Academy. All around, the usual groups did their usual things- mainly flirting with the opposite sex. He ducked his head low, narrowly avoiding somebody's protruding elbow as he scurried to his locker. The school was lively… very lively. Too lively for someone as meek as him.<p>

Luckily, he had arrived notably earlier than many others- because of his KICKASS car- and therefore already had his books. Navigating his way out of the locker room, the pink haired boy managed to reach his classroom.

There were already four people in there, and three of those terrified him.

He hesitated, wondering whether or not he was walking into what was certain death. But he couldn't dawdle- the hallway was already swelling with hormonal teenagers, the energy smothering him. The teen would much rather risk death by Knightwalker, Laytis and Ashley than this.

As he opened the door and scurried inside, he was relieved that neither Erza nor Hibiki did so much as look at him- yet it was something of a disappointment that Lucy didn't bother either. The punk girl was currently ranting to Knightwalker.

"So Miss Levy Mc_Garbage _hears that I copied homework off her boyfriend, right? Well, I tell her to fuck off because so does she…"

Natsu peeked up from behind his book, watching the conversation. It was nothing too interesting- Lucy once again complaining about Levy, Erza joining in with the occasional input from Hibiki (though Mystogan remained mostly quiet). In the main, Lucy was doing the talking. Natsu was fine with that- he was just glad she didn't notice him watching her. If she did, he would have been in for a world of pain.

Back in middle school, he was her punching bag. Nowadays, she didn't even know who he was. Despite how masochistic the idea sounded, he actually missed being beaten up daily. Yes, it was weird and freaky and completely out there, but Natsu loved Lucy.

He admired her confidence, her strength. The boy was awed by her lack of shame, how she spoke her mind and spoke it loud enough for the entire student body to hear. She was beautiful, but he loved what a strong woman she was, independent and ready to stand up for herself. After all, it was common knowledge that Lucy's childhood had not exactly been the most stable. For her to still be so solid was beyond Natsu's comprehension (then again, he was the single biggest crybaby of the school…)

So why did she need a boyfriend? And why did it have to be that dickhead transfer student, Hibiki Laytis?

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><p>"Juvia keeps rejecting me…" Gray moaned to his best friend. Natsu simply shrugged as he pawed through his locker for his gym kit. Poor Gray was head over heels in love for Juvia, but even Natsu could see why somebody would turn down the guy.<p>

"Maybe you should try somebody else?" He suggested.

The black haired boy's face fell. "But… Juvia…"

"She wants you to wear fewer clothes, right?"

Gray's response was to hug his overclothed figure. "But I get so… cold!"

Natsu sighed as they went to change. "Gym class… is running laps again…"

His friend also let out a melancholy sound as he followed. "At least it's not swimming…"

"We invented vehicles specifically so we wouldn't have to run around places."

After drill after painful drill, Natsu was changed lightning fast and off to lunch like a rocket. When he passed by the nurse's office, he caught a glance of Cana holding an ice pack to her eye as she whimpered in pain. It was only later on that he found out that the girls had been playing dodgeball; Lucy was rather overenthusiastic, and Cana was on the receiving end of that.

No doubt about it, Lucy Ashley was a monster disguised in the form of a voluptuous teenage girl. But hey, love is unconditional. And, in Natsu's case, unrequited.

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><p>Two days later and it was raining cats and dogs. Natsu, luckily enough, was in his car. Others snorted at the shabby looking vehicle, but he had made sure it ran like a dream- his baby, his magnum opus that he could spend hours tending to. The boy leaned back, grinning lazily at the familiar feeling of the wheel. He loved this car.<p>

He would not usually have noticed somebody stomping through the puddles on the pavement, shivering madly and cursing, but this somebody just so happened to be the blonde haired, brown eyed object of his affections. He slowed down and observed her, from her muttered swearing that would make a sailor blush to the way that every stamp of her foot sent rainwater splashing, yet she seemed to not give a care in the world.

Eventually, Natsu's car caught up with the raging Lucy. He grinned and rolled down the window before leaning out of it.

"Need a lift?"

The teenage girl whipped around, looking for all the world like she was prepared to murder puppies. But her eyes softened when she saw him, if only by a miniscule amount.

"Dragion?" she asked, moving sodden locks of golden hair away from her face. Natsu's smile widened.

"I'm honoured you remember me, Princess."

Lucy scowled at her childhood nickname and swivelled round. "Of course I do. Unlike _some people_ in our school, I'm not a complete retard." She looked as though she were ready to march away, but Natsu reached out put a hand on her arm. The delinquent snatched it away, but she stayed where she was and simply glared daggers at her classmate. Wimpy Natsu would have crumbled, but he was currently in his beloved car- nothing could faze him.

"Look," he started, "Do you wanna lift home? You're tough as nails, but I don't think you're immune to pneumonia."

The blonde snorted. "I'm better off than I would be in that trash you call a car." But she got in anyway, murmuring a begrudging thank you.

There was a silence that was awkward in Lucy's view, but perfect in Natsu's.

"So… where do you live?"

"East side of town." Lucy replied, seemingly interested in the window and refusing to give her companion a glance. Natsu shrugged as he set off, turning on the CD player. After a few seconds, heavy drumbeats and guitar chords began to play.

Lucy turned around, almost surprised. "You like Iron Maiden?" She asked as though the thought was unfathomable. Natsu winked at her as he turned the corner.

"Hell yeah! I heard that they're coming into town- shame I can't get tickets. Ah well…"

There was another painful silence before Natsu did something daring. Something that he would usually never dream of. He asked a question, "What were you doing walking home? Doesn't your boyfriend usually give you a lift?"

Another spiteful scowl formed on her perfect features. "You mean Hibiki? That dickhead?" She spat venomously. "Apparently, I'm not good enough for him. Stupid prat… if he wants a sissy little spineless girly girl, then so be it. I never wanted a boyfriend in the first place."

Natsu shrugged. "I never liked the guy. And he's obviously a blind moron if he's turning you down."

Lucy raised an eyebrow and looked at him weirdly. He glanced at her almost perplexed expression and simply turned the music up.

Around ten minutes later, they had to turn it down again so that she could give him directions. Natsu didn't mention that he had never been around this side of town, which was a rougher and grittier neighbourhood than he had expected. Lucy seemed to realise this, but she seemed intent on only telling him which way to turn.

She thanked him – actually, sincerely expressed gratitude, much to Natsu's surprise – before going inside her run down looking apartment.

That was the highlight of his month.

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><p>There were several things that Natsu Dragion absolutely despised- prom night was definitely one of them.<p>

Let's list the reasons, shall we?

1. There was a ridiculous amount of people all crammed into one tackily decorated room.

2. The amount of break ups, hook ups, flings etc. would shame any TV drama.

3. He never had a date.

Natsu sighed as he lingered near the snack table. Having a date meant asking a girl and the thought of that was absolutely petrifying. Especially since the girl he was pining for would probably hospitalise him for trying.

The teen shuddered at the very thought. Even if he wasn't head over heels for Lucy Ashley, no girl would accept him anyway. He was nothing but a teenage dirtbag, a doormat and bottom of the adolescent food chain. And he would probably stay that way. Even Gray had managed to get a dance with Juvia! It had taken much pep talk and support, but Gray had finally managed to shrug off his many layers. And he didn't look cold at all- in fact, his red face suggested the complete opposite. And, despite her usual aloof attitude to her date, Juvia seemed to be enjoying herself.

There were others too- Knightwalker and Mystogan, even Levy and Gajeel were dancing (or at least attempting to, thanks to Levy's lack of elegance). So many happy couples…

He almost jumped out of his skin when a firm hand planted itself on his shoulder and turned him sharply round. When he saw the owner of the hand, Natsu thought he would melt into a nervous puddle.

Lucy noticed this fear and barked at him to man up. She was wearing a dress, surprisingly enough, a black one that had obviously been bought at a low price. But he couldn't care less for her clothing or her clumsily slapped on make up because she was looking at him with those deep chocolate eyes and they were captivating.

Natsu was snapped out of this trance when the girl waved something in front of his face. He blinked to focus on the two tickets in her hand.

"You. Me. Iron Maiden. Friday. And don't you dare give me a 'maybe' or I will beat the crap out of you and drag your sorry ass over there."

There was a slight pause, one that seemed perfectly timed and atmospheric.

"Can I drive?"

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><p><strong>AN: Damn, I'm not too proud of this one. Oh well, now I can finally say I wrote it.<strong>


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